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The Crazy War

A few days after just having arrived in South America I found myself leaving a naval hospital on crutches. I had to have surgery to repair my Achilles tendon. It was severed the previous night while I was dancing on the street. The last time I was on crutches I was twenty years old and a fullback at the university of Central Michigan University. I had just made first string! After excruciating summer workouts my football dreams had finally been realized! It was all worth it…or not. Here I was standing outside the stadium at game time handing out flyers. Several of my high school fans were shocked and inquired of my condition as they were walking into the stadium.

If I could turn back the page of time and tell myself something at that moment, I would say something like, “Be patient young man, this ‘crazy war’ shall be won” and also, “Enjoy that nice long blond hair while you got it, cuz pretty soon you will look like hell being bald”.

I created an image as a ‘tough guy’. (Although inside I was just a scared little boy.) Outside I was a beer-drinking Polish catholic from the west side of Grand Rapids, Michigan. We all find things to occupy our loneliness and boredom. Football was my obsession. I hated school, studying and basically anything that sniffed of conformity to a system. When I looked up at awesome cloud formations and inhaled fresh cut grass it told me there had to more to life than to spend my one short life on this planet to “GET A JOB! (Ps.19:1/ Rm.1:20)”. No way!

When I was fourteen I got shot in the eye with a BB gun on my way back from a Boy Scout meeting. This greatly influenced the direction of my life because I had to spend one entire month laying on my back, perfectly still, in a hospital or they said I could go blind. It also took away my one security of football for the next two years of my life. I went from being ‘cool’, to looking like a “squirrel” with big black glasses. Even my best friend’s mocked me. I had no idea that at this early age God was beginning to break my ego. By sophomore year I had regained football and my cool image. I got arrested the night before High School graduation but the head cop had watched me play football on Friday nights so I got off. Hard winters and short summers made me want to get out of a town I considered quite hokey. Besides, I had to know what was “out there”.

I surely wasn’t “into God”, but I went to Mass, said the rosary and would kick anyone’s butt who came against my pope. Deep inside I did have a conscious fear of God. Even though I acted “bad” when I was alone, I did some deep thinking about God. I wondered if God was real would He display such utterly profound beauty in the stars, oceans and forests but leave man’s purpose to find fulfillment in working eight to five? Did a Creator depend on universities and technology in order for you to find purpose?

My five older brothers, sister and Dad thought my mom was getting a little weird on us because, instead of talking about saints, confession and sacraments, she began talking about the “living Jesus”! What in the world was this supposed to mean? I was afraid of growing distant from her so I decided to give her an ear, even though she didn’t know it.

My mom and I were very close. I never thought that her experience with God was for me. Then slowly I began to see an angle. I could profit from this God-thing. Why, of course, God could prove Himself to me by getting me a football scholarship to a university then I could escape Grand Rapids. Hah, this would work out great! What a brilliant ... warped mind. But would He go along with this kind of crazy thinking guy?

So I went into this bargaining season with God; If He could get me to make All-City fullback, which would get me a scholarship to a university, then I would go to one of my mom’s prayer meetings at my West Catholic High School. If one of my buddies ever found out I went to a prayer meeting I’d be dead-meat as far as my “macho” image. To make a long story short, God did His part. I made All-City, but I miserably failed at my end of the deal.

When I got to Central Michigan University I threw myself into lifting weights. I discovered “The Russian Method” of lifting (the only book I ever read). Soon I was bench pressing 425 lbs. and being asked by all the guys to show them how to lift. I was only a measly 187 lbs. I also ran a 4.4 forty yd. dash. I could honestly boast of being the fastest and strongest guy on the team. (And made sure everybody knew it.) All of this image was really my desperate attempt to hide profound insecurity and fear of what I was going to do with my life and what others thought.

The campus scene allowed me to finally become a “somebody”. People knew me. Coaches talked about me. I was on the top of my fantasy world. I got arrested with one of my coaches for fighting at a bar one summer. I did other crazy things. Soon the guys nicknamed me “the Crazy War” from my wild disposition and last name. Little did anyone know how well this expression so accurately described what was really going on deep inside. I was tormented by a deep conflict over meaning, pleasing others and a fear of my future, or lack of one. I hated being completely LOST yet having to act “cool and together”! I became a slave to the image I created. I had to be who they wanted me to be.

Then the unthinkable happened. I tore-up my knee in a spring game. Like a popped balloon, my ego-trip imploded. I became subject to things out of my control. The team didn’t skip a beat. Another fullback instantly took my position and the game went on. I was left with crutches and a very uncertain future. It’s downright eerie how unforeseen factors can pull the rug out from under you. In one moment everything can seem so “great” then at a time unexpected, WHAM, you have no clue! .... continued on next page....

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After meeting Jesus in the Notre Dame Stadium "Crazy War", along with his wife and 6 children, has taken the gospel to over 45 countries across the world. Fighting to bring vision, hope and purpose. What do you fight for?

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The clincher for me was where Jesus says "Come to Me...and LEARN from Me" (Mt.11:29). How does one "learn" from an invisible Being? Jesus says the true church are those who learn the things of spirit and truth (not pretense and pomp) (Jn.4:24). Does such a work of the heart not require such things of which no man can describe? Silence, meditation, talking TO God are things of spirit and truth. In this mega-hype culture it can be impossible to force yourself into a stillness of heart. You must do the impossible! Start meditating on the Book of Psalms and the Gospel of John. Wherever you are for five or fifteen minutes. It will seem awkward at first. You will find many voices in your head and feelings of anxiety. You've got to LEARN to silence them. Solitude is essential!

You will find that the reaction by others to this quest, to go directly to Jesus, is treated with presumption; "Oh, of course. I know all that already". Men can work eight hours a day but are too lazy of heart to consider that God's love is of such mysterious and magnificent proportions so as to require a work of individual heart far beyond any passive prayer (Jn.6:27,29). Thus they fall short of His divine Presence. This is the essence of salvation! It was prophecied hundreds of years ago (Jer.31:33-34/Ez.36:26).

This is not the "salvation" of today. Rather it is the unbiblical "accept Christ" prayer-formula that produces plastic "Christians". McDonald's Christianity would have you believe that all you have to do is drive up to the "service" window of any preachers castle and get the salvation-to-go order of repeating a one-time prayer. As if the same generic prayer written for all to parrot has anything to do with the personal heart cry which God requires (Ps.51:17). Like everything in the American culture it is "processed" into an articial and refined response so as to make everyone the same and fit perfectly into their system about Christ.

The brethren in Corinth or Ephesus were the true church who lived as those "set apart" to love Christ rather than this world (1 Jn.2:14ff/Consider Acts 5:32). Luke explains that what Jesus "began to do and teach" in bodily form He now continues in His people in His risen state (Acts 1:1). Their identity was not in an affliation with a particular doctrine, or trying to make this world a better place, but in the power they beheld in their obedient lives looking for the city which is to come . They were uneducated and unlearned but their lives demonstrated that they had actually been with the living Jesus ( Acts 4:13).

Jesus revealed the world is full of religious deception; many "churches", cults and religions (Matt.24). How will you know the truth? Will you learn from a man or go to God? More than ever before, my friend, you must not just go along with everyone. The majority is wrong (Mt.7:13). Don't look at what men SAY. Tons of people claim to be an authority because they have a website or claim to have a following. Like armchair quarterbacks who never played a down of football yet pretend to know what's wrong. Look at their LIVES! Do they just sit around like anyone else claiming to be religious? Or do their lives stand out as a witness? Are they doing something that bears the cross of Christ (Mt.10:38)?

There is nothing wrong with going to a service to try and learn something but watch over your heart (Proverbs 14:23). "...A little leaven levens the whole lump..." (Gal.5:9). Hypocrisy is like toxic waste, it disintegrates sincerity and corrupts anyone with a heart. Don't give yourself over to "church". Learn and go on. You must not settle there. You must keep going. You must get beyond it to learn, build and discover a personal walk with Jesus. We can tell you it is awesome! Do you know His voice? Your life now and your eternity are at stake. This is about your capacity to walk in abundant life or abundant hypocrisy.

For surely there is a true church and is a false church. There is a false christ and a true Christ (2 Cor.11:3-4ff/Mt.24:24,23). Jesus beckons you to come to Him and find the posture of humility to become a disciple and learn directly from Him. His anointing is capable of teaching you all the things (1 Jn.2:27). The idea of God actually coming into your being can only be defined as a mystery (Col.1:27). David said "I have more understanding than all my teachers: for Thy words are my meditation. I understand more than the ancients, because I keep Thy truths" (Ps.119:99ff/read the whole chapter).

Jesus is waiting....If anyone is thirsty!

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