If Anyone Is Thirsty

Sarah

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“If you realize in an instant that all your memories are lies, what are you supposed to do? Sitting on the couch, I can see my parents avoiding my eyes and saying “…we wanted to stay together until you were in college but we just can’t do it anymore, it isn’t your fault , honey...” If I hadn’t been here, you would have been free, but it’s not my fault?!? I can’t look at any of my childhood photos without thinking that every memory that defines me is a lie. Some times I wish I could ask my parents, without screaming or sobbing, “If everything you said and did was a show, if it was all fake and I became me based on that, who am I now that it’s all fallen apart? Who am I apart from you?

“I was adopted. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, in an instant I can hear my “mother” shouting , “Don't you dare blame me for this! I never wanted to adopt in the first place!” At first I was relieved. It explained why I never fit in and never felt loved. That lasted until finding my birth parents obliterated the dream of discovering pieces of my identity in them. Two sets of parents, two histories, two backgrounds and no clue to who I’m supposed to be. I don’t know how long I can keep pretending that I’m holding it all together inside. It just hurts too much. I feel like my eyes are crying to the world “Who am I”?

“Well, this is great. Spent four years in high school establishing my persona and now, in college, I’ve gotta start all over again. Wish I could just be me but I always get those weird looks like “why can’t you just fit in?” Problem is, without any of my friends or family, I don’t really know who I am and neither does anyone else. It’s like I’m a blank slate and it’s up to me to write in what I want. Thing is, I don’t know what I want. Wish I had parents who could help me figure out who I am but they got enough problems of their own. And I don’t really want to be like them. Who am I? Who should I become?

No matter if you had a dysfunctional family, no family or the supposedly “normal” family, all of us have questioned “Who am I? Where do I belong?” Every one of us desperately wants to belong. Movies paint a picture of the ideal relationship between a father and his child and every person sighs, thinking “If only...”. No matter our background, we have all experienced that sense of isolation and utter lack of a single person that really loves us. The feeling can be so crushing that it drives you to do anything to escape it. Suicide, homicide, divorce, financial ruin and mental instability are just a few of the terrible consequences of the identity crisis going on inside every man. The perfect career, cause, marriage or family will never resolve this for you. Your identity can never be found in what you do or who you're with. The secret to resolving all these issues, to discovering who you are and where you belong can be summed up in 5 letters: D A D D Y.

The child who cries “Daddy” knows where he belongs and who he can always trust. The word paints a picture of a small child running into strong, open arms. But what about a large child, what about you? Could you ever conceive of calling God “Daddy”? People may picture or talk about God as a stern and loving, but distant, father. Then some think of Him as a Santa Claus in the sky who does nothing but give people what they want. But what if God is waiting to be the father you’ve always wanted? What if you could be the son or daughter that He is looking for (2Cor.6:18)? You see, you were never meant to carry the burden of this world alone. You were never meant to have an identity apart from Him. You’re like a highly complex machine that was programmed to operate based on one key component. Remove that component and some superficial stuff might function but every time it gets to complex operations, there’s a disconnect. The human soul was hardwired to be in constant communion with its’ Creator. Remove the Creator from the picture and try to find your identity. You might be able to pretend for awhile but its’ not gonna happen. Contrary to whatever you’ve been taught about apes and pond slime, God created you. He is the ONLY one who knows who you are and where you’re going (Is.43). Find Him and you will find who you were created to be. Let me tell you from personal experience, there is no greater joy on earth!

Contrary to what every religion on earth portrays, the essence of the gospel is not doctrines, moral laws or religious formulas. The essence of the gospel lies at the heart of that word: Daddy. Read Romans chapter 8 verse 14. God is not waiting for you to do something you can never do: be perfect, moral or religious. He is waiting for you to give Him the one thing that only you can give Him: the heart of a child crying out for his father (Mt.18:3). He doesn’t want you to grow up but rather to grow in to a relationship with Him. In John 17:23, Jesus says His wish is that the world would know that the Father loves us with the same love that He loves His only Beloved Son. You gotta admit, the ramifications of such love are impossible to grasp. But will you believe? Will you find the courage to drop all the pretenses and image and, in the dark when you’re lying on your bed, whisper “Daddy, are you there?”? Talk to Him, not at Him (Jer.33:3). Your parents might be divorced. You might never have known your father. You might wish you never knew your father or mother. It doesn’t matter. Your Father is waiting to heal those hurts and provide you with a love that will take your breath away. He is waiting to give you an identity that will fulfill you beyond your wildest dreams. Exaggeration? Pie-in-the-sky fantasy? You’ll never know if you’re too scared to find out. Will you learn to say “Daddy”? I dare you.

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The clincher for me was where Jesus says "Come to Me...and LEARN from Me" (Mt.11:29). How does one "learn" from an invisible Being? Jesus says the true church are those who learn the things of spirit and truth (not pretense and pomp) (Jn.4:24). Does such a work of the heart not require such things of which no man can describe? Silence, meditation, talking TO God are things of spirit and truth. In this mega-hype culture it can be impossible to force yourself into a stillness of heart. You must do the impossible! Start meditating on the Book of Psalms and the Gospel of John. Wherever you are for five or fifteen minutes. It will seem awkward at first. You will find many voices in your head and feelings of anxiety. You've got to LEARN to silence them. Solitude is essential!

You will find that the reaction by others to this quest, to go directly to Jesus, is treated with presumption; "Oh, of course. I know all that already". Men can work eight hours a day but are too lazy of heart to consider that God's love is of such mysterious and magnificent proportions so as to require a work of individual heart far beyond any passive prayer (Jn.6:27,29). Thus they fall short of His divine Presence. This is the essence of salvation! It was prophecied hundreds of years ago (Jer.31:33-34/Ez.36:26).

This is not the "salvation" of today. Rather it is the unbiblical "accept Christ" prayer-formula that produces plastic "Christians". McDonald's Christianity would have you believe that all you have to do is drive up to the "service" window of any preachers castle and get the salvation-to-go order of repeating a one-time prayer. As if the same generic prayer written for all to parrot has anything to do with the personal heart cry which God requires (Ps.51:17). Like everything in the American culture it is "processed" into an articial and refined response so as to make everyone the same and fit perfectly into their system about Christ.

The brethren in Corinth or Ephesus were the true church who lived as those "set apart" to love Christ rather than this world (1 Jn.2:14ff/Consider Acts 5:32). Luke explains that what Jesus "began to do and teach" in bodily form He now continues in His people in His risen state (Acts 1:1). Their identity was not in an affliation with a particular doctrine, or trying to make this world a better place, but in the power they beheld in their obedient lives looking for the city which is to come . They were uneducated and unlearned but their lives demonstrated that they had actually been with the living Jesus ( Acts 4:13).

Jesus revealed the world is full of religious deception; many "churches", cults and religions (Matt.24). How will you know the truth? Will you learn from a man or go to God? More than ever before, my friend, you must not just go along with everyone. The majority is wrong (Mt.7:13). Don't look at what men SAY. Tons of people claim to be an authority because they have a website or claim to have a following. Like armchair quarterbacks who never played a down of football yet pretend to know what's wrong. Look at their LIVES! Do they just sit around like anyone else claiming to be religious? Or do their lives stand out as a witness? Are they doing something that bears the cross of Christ (Mt.10:38)?

There is nothing wrong with going to a service to try and learn something but watch over your heart (Proverbs 14:23). "...A little leaven levens the whole lump..." (Gal.5:9). Hypocrisy is like toxic waste, it disintegrates sincerity and corrupts anyone with a heart. Don't give yourself over to "church". Learn and go on. You must not settle there. You must keep going. You must get beyond it to learn, build and discover a personal walk with Jesus. We can tell you it is awesome! Do you know His voice? Your life now and your eternity are at stake. This is about your capacity to walk in abundant life or abundant hypocrisy.

For surely there is a true church and is a false church. There is a false christ and a true Christ (2 Cor.11:3-4ff/Mt.24:24,23). Jesus beckons you to come to Him and find the posture of humility to become a disciple and learn directly from Him. His anointing is capable of teaching you all the things (1 Jn.2:27). The idea of God actually coming into your being can only be defined as a mystery (Col.1:27). David said "I have more understanding than all my teachers: for Thy words are my meditation. I understand more than the ancients, because I keep Thy truths" (Ps.119:99ff/read the whole chapter).

Jesus is waiting....If anyone is thirsty!

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